Words are powerful. Both in a positive and negative way. Remember the childhood phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”? I can attest to the fact that words can and do hurt.
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My Own Hurtful Experience
I was an adult with my own children when my mother said some hurtful words that can still hurt me today. I cannot remember how the conversation got started but Momma said that if birth control had been available when she had children (there are 4 of us) she would never have had children. Momma passed away over 12 years ago, and it still hurts me to think we were not really wanted. I don’t think in her heart that Momma really meant what she said and I have worked hard to forgive her.
The Time I Was The Problem
Almost 20 years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It didn’t affect my mobility but instead, it hit my eyes and I was virtually blind for almost 3 months. Thankfully, my vision returned to almost normal. Meantime, I was a wreck. I was a single mom with a 19-year-old and a 7-year-old. (Yes, that’s a big gap in ages 😊). I was so afraid I would never be able to work again. How would I take care of my kids?
I was also really depressed and thought I was going to die. I had a great support system from my family and fiancé. My stress and fears were transferred to anyone around me. My daughter (the 7-year-old) started having issues sleeping and would often go into crying fits where she would be inconsolable. One particularly bad night she ended up going to her brother’s room having a fit. I went in there and lost it. I said, “I hope this thing (MS) kills me”.
How terrible a mother I am!
We all knew I didn’t mean it, but the words were out and could not be taken back. My kids probably don’t even remember that night, but I will never forget it. Ever.
Why Do We Say Mean Hurtful Things?
Like my case with my children, sometimes hurtful words are said because of stress and turmoil in our lives. It’s not right. It’s not an excuse. It is just an explanation.
To make matters worse, in today’s electronic world it is so easy to hide behind screens and spew mean and hateful things. I am definitely pro-free speech but also believe some things are simply better not said or written. A good side of electronic free speech is that we can also use it to spread the good news of peace and love to an even bigger audience.
The Devil Made Me Do It
As a woman of faith, I know Satan wants to trick us into believing we have a right to speak our minds, or that we are just trying to help someone by so-called constructive criticism. Satan whispers in our ear that something we want to say is OK because we don’t mean to hurt someone. Or if something is said to us without malice, Satan can tell us “you don’t have to take that!” or “they are no better than you” or anything else to cause us pain, guilt, or sadness and to take away the joy we have in our Savior. Just remember that Satan cannot make us do something, but he can tempt us. We can depend on God to help us say no to temptation.
What about gossip? We all repeat some gossip here and there. Whether it’s true or false, we can still cause harm with our words. Sometimes we just need to be the better person.
No matter how hard we work to always be nice, sometimes we say things without meaning to harm. We just must consider what we are saying and how it can affect others. In other words, we need to think before we speak. #WordsHurt #Words Share on X
Remember To Think Before We Speak
No matter how hard we work to always be nice, sometimes we say things without meaning to harm. We just must consider what we are saying and how it can affect others. In other words, we need to think before we speak.
Hi Janet,
I popped along to your blog to thank you for the follow. Thank you also for reading my guest post at Wholeness Haven.
I love what you say here: “hurtful words are said because of stress and turmoil in our lives. It’s not right. It’s not an excuse. It is just an explanation.”
A really good way of thinking about the unkind words we, or others say.
When you spoke about what your mother had said, it reminded me of some words that my mother had flung at me, blaming us (her children) for our dad’s death. Of course it was a ridiculous statement and I wondered what made her say it. The explanation (not the excuse), is that stress and turmoil (even grief) can cause you to say hurtful things. I haven’t thought about this for a long while. It always amazes me just how much we have stored deep within our subconscious that we’ve completely forgotten about.
Have a blessed day!
BTW I am not sure why I could not see the WordPress symbol, so I could respond from my WP account rather than my email address. Do you not have this option available?
Thank you so much Carol! I really appreciate your insight and comments. I also loved your site and plan to visit you often!
I will have to check on the WordPress symbol – I am still learning and may have missed it somehow.
Janet
My sweet friend, I love this post so much. Since there was a technical glitch the last go ’round that prevented me from being able to comment, I’ll repost it now in hopes that this blessed technology cooperates with us! 😀 Love you,my friend! ♥
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Janet, you are amazing. Reading this post of yours nearly made my eyes tear up. I could sense your heart and got to know a side of you that makes me love you even more, my friend. Your vulnerability will touch many hearts, including mine. I truly believe that we have the ability to make a profound impact on this world today, and you, dearest Janet, are doing just that!
We must really be thinking a lot alike, as I have a post about seeing what we’re speaking in my drafts folder! It’s true, isn’t it — how we can speak life or death into our lives, relationships, and more just by what we say.
I am so sorry for the words your mom carelessly spoke to you about birth control. Bless your heart! I can see why that would hurt your heart. Yet I have to believe, like you, that her poor choice in words had nothing to do with her love or acceptance of you and your siblings. Just as you didn’t mean what you said in a moment of panic, stress, and overwhelming worry. Oh Janet, I am so very grateful that you are here with us and that the evils of MS did not rob this world of your bright light and kind heart. You are needed and you are appreciated!
You couldn’t be more right about how Satan plants those seeds of thoughts into our minds. I once heard a sermon reminding us how sneaky he is. It wouldn’t be hard to resist a devil that is obvious. If we could see him coming a mile away, we’d know what to do. He knows how to make us wonder if the thoughts are our own, how to make us ‘comfortable’ with doing his work, even when we don’t realize it! Satan is ever so subtle, which is why we must always guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 🙂
I am praying God’s Divine protection over you & your family. All of my love is heading your way. Thank you for being who you are, Janet. You are a treasure! Thank you also for this much-needed reminder to weigh our words carefully — because words can and do hurt! It’s very hard to take back stupid, ha ha! 😀
I’ve shared and hope others will come and read your beautiful words!
Holly,
You are such a blessing to me! I thank God every day for being able to meet you. All your posts and comments help keep me grounded and I appreciate it so much
Love you,
Janet